Bren’s writing and movies blog

Because I have an opinion about creativity and know how to use it

Posts Tagged ‘flash fiction’

Outsourcing Panic

Posted by brenatevi on July 23, 2008

“Junior executive assistant to the vice speaking chairman Drebin, plrease step forward.”

Drebin had to stop and do some mental calculus to make sure that the senior executive speaking officer was actually talking to it. If he had meant Drebin’s boss, he would have surely said “Vice speaking chairman Lolcats.” Drebin also mentally subtracted the “r” from please; it doesn’t do to correct a senior executive speaking officer.

And Drebin had done all of this mental math in a nanosecond, which is the reason that it was Junior executive assistant to the vice speaking chairman. “Yes sir?”

“The stockmarket has taken a kazillion point dive. After the last market adjustment, we were forced to layoff too many jobs, and none of the executives are qualified to deal with the situation at hand.”

“Excuse me sir?”

And this is why Drebin wasn’t a Senior executive assistant to the vice speaking chairman. Neither its mind reading skills nor its fluency in bureacraticese had developed enough to deal well with situations such as these. Soon, Drebin promised in the quarter second it was allowed once it realized its faux pax.

“You are forgiven. You are still young. As I was saying, we do not have the correct personnel for panic. Call Hondolorin of Profesionals R Us. Get us the best in frantic.”

“May I ask why, sir?”

“We need people to jump out the windows as our stock plummets, unless you are volunteering.”

“No sir. Any particular species?”


I tapped this out on my cellphone while waiting at an appointment. I love my Treo. The title was one I came up with quite a while back, and I’m not sure what I was thinking at the moment, because all I did was type out the title and the rest of the file was blank. But I’m quite happy with end result, even if it is a bit short.

For a moment, I was going to take it a more serious route, but reconsidered. The title just wasn’t one that lent well to seriousness.


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Through the Equation

Posted by brenatevi on July 22, 2008

I stared at the computer screen as if I could become one with the computer through sheer willpower alone. That’s what happens when you work at a problem for over twenty-four hours. I could have given up a while back, like after the first hour, but when I had first started working, I had felt like I was on the cusp of something big, something important. The words “zero point radiation” echoed through my head, and no matter how I manipulated the symbols, I couldn’t capture the exact meaning of those words. The equations would come close, yet never exactly encompass my thoughts. It was exactly this close, yet always so far.

The equations flowed through my mind, and I felt that was the essence of zero point radiation. I dived into the equations from a different angle, not looking for the exactly correct equations, the right symbols, but the ones that skirt the idea, that approximate the essence of my thoughts. Like skipping a stone around a vortex, my mind whirled in an ever tightening arc. The equations fell into place, showing me the outline of the truth I had been looking for. My heart quickened as the world slowly made more sense than it ever had before. I felt it, I felt that I was about to make the last jump, the last equation that would make it all crystallize.

I was through. I could see the entire universe, the way it was all connected, from the alpha to the omega. There was just too much to share, too much to explain to everyone, so I let go and basked into the glory of it all.


You ever have an idea that you couldn’t explain at a particular point in time, and when you are talking about it, you know that it’s brilliant, but the words slip away from you like an otter doused in Vaseline, and instead of sounding brilliant, you sound like you “have a mouth full of stupid?” (Thank you Howard Tayler for passing on that beautiful phrase.) This is the end result of several of those conversations. I’ve gotten into several arguments that revolved around the idea perception determining our reality, and could never quite pin down what I was trying to say. It goes to show how bloody stubborn I can be when it comes to this sort of stuff, which is why I write; I need a way out for everything I think, and there aren’t very many people that are willing to put up with me when I’m hanging on to a topic like a bulldog clamped to your leg. I often get told “Drop it” when I keep arguing way past the moment the argument was over.

Instead, I keep turning the thoughts in my head, like the character in this story, coming at it from different angles, until finally “Synthesis!” That isn’t to say that I’m going to give up on the topic, because I might find yet another angle that I like better, but for the moment, this is as good as it gets.

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